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to be, again, redundant: September 1, 2007

Posted by eatnorthamerica in things that are not quite things we know.
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I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to fly back to London purely because I didn’t want to go through the old carpet stench of Heathrow security.

It’s only half the reason.

Think it goes back to my original schtick? The one spamming alienation, basted under a veil of verbiage?

Let’s leave that to simmer for a while.

Eight months ago, eight months back along the line between Cambridge and London, I’d been working for a multinational company whose business card got me more than its fair share of credibility. It got me excited, back when I was fresh out of school. I flew places, stayed in five-star hotels, gave interviews, feasted on my expenses. Nothing lasts forever. It got me bored.

The problem was the same old problem; I didn’t want to be where I was, I didn’t know where home was, I wanted to know where home was.

Looking back at that December, from the perspective of this September, I find it ironic that I was working on a project called Home.

Eight months ago, I rode the line past the last stop, through the air. I left thirteen years of England, swapped rain lullabies for the banshee shrieks of gales and hails.

It’s been just another journey.

I got a new business card, one that didn’t do very much, look very good, or last very long.

I went to Jackson Hole, Wyoming; New York, New York; wandered around Ontario, saw a really big bunch of waterfalls.

After eight months, I still haven’t learned to stop lurching into the corner of my bed. I have a testimonial of bruises on my left shin. That’s a sign of something, anyway.

I didn’t find home here. Maybe I would’ve, if I’d been here for more than eight months. It’s a moot point. I’m looking for a new one. I’ll tell you when it’s found me.

One thing’s good; I’m coming to grasp the idea of living without regrets. Meaning; despite the ups and downs of the past 0.667 of the year, I feel pretty good about most of it, and wherever I’ll end up at the end of it. Being able to say that isn’t a bad thing, though I’m going to miss the friends I’ve made. And still, the friends who aren’t here.

I’m shocked, however, at how many of them (you) are succumbing to the lure of progeny. I’m too young to spawn. You know, the older I get, the more I feel like my own life has only just wheeled out onto the runway. When’s take-off? Oh, you say curing the problem of my singlehood would be the first step. I say you’re just being cynical.

Eight months down the line, the line with an end I can’t quite picture, and I’m sitting by my balcony, making posts titled with really bad puns, the CN Tower bisecting my sky.

And all I’m thinking is, FF0911, that’s the colour they’ve turned it this month. Conspiracy theory, anyone?

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Comments»

1. Cid - September 3, 2007

very verbose on a topic you aren’t usually prone to talk about

2. eatnorthamerica - September 4, 2007

yeah… i don’t actually reveal that much though.:) if you think about it. we’ll see. i’m pretty paranoid.:)

3. Seth - September 13, 2007

good to hear your thought and feelings for a change.. you know we are all behind you!
i can relate to the whole questioning of what and where is ‘home’, it’s the way our world is now- it’s our generation’s big tragedy (unless we get another world war i guess)..

4. eatnorthamerica - September 19, 2007

thanks, my fellow jetset buddy :) it’s pretty fuzzy in my brainspace right now, eh? (there’s a canadianism for you!) I want to go back to London for a short break, but I should really wait till I have the job situation sorted out first. when are you going to be back in England next? Oh! And if you guys ever want to crash in Canada my place offers a free floor. Wait till I figure out where I’m going to be, though.:)


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